Lenten Discipline

I learned long ago that giving up chocolate for Lent was not going to be a thing that suited me. I would spend my days longing for the stuff, eventually give in, then spend the next several weeks feeling guilty about not being able to keep my commitment - as though it was God's primary concern that I could abstain from sweets for a mere month-and-some. Frankly, I probably disappointed God more with my childish responses to having to refuse a piece of cake than with my eventual cave to a Snicker's bar.

So instead of replacing one bad habit with another, my mother and I decided a few years ago to pick up a discipline together. We were working together at the time, and we worked with some pretty difficult people. Some were going through difficult transitions in their lives and took their anger out on the rest of us, one felt threatened about her job, one just seemed to prefer to be angry. And a few of us had gotten in the bad habit of gossiping and complaining about work. That year, my mom and I decided to be intentional about speaking kindly about our co-workers. ALL of our co-workers. It was difficult at first. At first I just neglected to talk about work at all. But after awhile, I made myself learn more about my co-workers than the boxes I had placed them in. I learned what they liked to do in their free time, what they were passionate about, how they had been hurt or made glad by partners and friends. And after Lent was through... Mom and I still became frustrated with some of them. But instead of dwelling on those moments, we were able to move past them to common ground. We became happier, built relationships with our co-workers, and grew closer to one another as we shared the experience of this discipline with each other.

I've kept up this practice since then, choosing usually two disciplines to keep: one individual and one community-oriented. This year's discipline will (hopefully) be both. I've committed to writing and reflecting on a regular basis. I want to document my time in Salt Lake City, as well as prepare myself for what's ahead. I want to share my experience here with folks who have supported my getting here. And I want to do that in a way that's honest. I also want to get over the idea that everything I write has to be perfect, and move towards a place where I can process by writing. So I can't promise perfection, or even good writing. But I hope to be able to commit to regularity. And maybe an interesting thought now and again.